Don't Look My Way
by Blue-eyed Fox
Summary: Actions speaks louder than words. A tortured heart, a battered soul, everything has breaking point that not even one can prevent if not saved in time.
1. Chapter1: Musings

**Title:** Don't Look My Way

**Author:** Blue-eyed Fox

**Warning:** Yaoi, Shounen-ai (Male/Male romance), OOC major, a lot of swearing probably…

**Genre:** Romance, Drama, Angst…(sweatdrops)

**Disclaimers:** I don't own Naruto and the rest of the gang. If I did then Sakura would be dating Rock Lee after the forest of death incident. And I would be downright married to Kakashi… (dreamy eyes...)

**Status:** Can be a one-shot or a multi-chaptered fic… Who knows… (huge wide grin)

**Authoress' Note:**

As much as I love Sasuke, I would like to concentrate more on other pairings since it seems like there's only a handful of people doing so, leaving the Sasu/Naru page flooded to the brim… Or so it seems… Anyway, here is my offering to other fics… But don't worry, one day I might make a Sasu/Naru fic in the not so near (?) future… But for now, ENJOY! Cheers!

In this fic, Sasuke never left to join Orochimaru… Details of it will be dealt with in this story later on… Well… Maybe…

**Summary:**

Actions speaks louder than words. A tortured heart, a battered soul, everything has breaking point that not even one can prevent if not saved in time.

* * *

**- - - - - -**

**Chapter 1: Musings**

**- - - - - -**

* * *

Rain was pouring outright that day, like it had been the last few days. The only difference was that the rain seemed to hold a lingering tinge of sadness and sorrow in it. But no one seemed to notice except for a lithe figure standing at the top of the Hokage monument. 

Blue eyes surveyed the vast sea of what seemed to be nothing but despondency and hatred.

He loved this village with all his heart, gave everything he had, hoped and believed that one day he would make a name for himself and be recognized for who he is and not for what he was – a demon vessel. But despite all of it, still, the village itself had given him nothing in return.

On an average day, thoughts as such would mean nothing to him. After all, he, Uzumaki Naruto, is the one who never gives up! That was his way of a ninja. But now, it all seemed meaningless to him.

He was too tired of putting up a show, a masquerade for everyone to see. He had snapped, he was broken. Those he needed to protect, those he loved and given much importance to were nothing more but fragments of his misshapen soul – they were all nothing more but a sore illusion that fleetingly lingered in his heart.

All he wanted was to be saved.

* * *

**TIMELINE: One month ago…**

Naruto was on an A-class mission together with his teammates and jounin teacher. He had been so ecstatic with the fact that this was their very first high-ranked mission. He had made sure to set his alarm clock an hour and thirty minutes before the said time so he could prepare himself.

He had arrived in front of the gates of Konoha waiting for the rest of his team. To him, it seemed foolish to arrive early knowing that either way, their perverted teacher would be late as always. But this was his first A-class mission! So Uzumaki Naruto was no way in hell going to be late for it.

Naruto sat down on the cold earth, leaning on the wall as he waited for his teammates to arrive. One by one they arrived: a disgruntled Uchiha appeared out of nowhere, being the first one after him, followed by a sleepy looking Sakura whose hair was flicking out in different directions and of course, as expected, the last one to arrive, Hatake Kakashi who was forever seemingly holding his 'beloved' book.

As team 7 was finally gathered, they headed out to their destination towards Lightning Country to retrieve eight elemental high-level ninjutsu scrolls and a chest whose contents were only for the eyes of the Hokage.

The one-week journey towards Lightning Country was somewhat bearable provided that there was occasional bickering from the two so-called rivals, shouts and reprimands from Sakura and a random bark of order coming from the perverted lazy-ass jounin. And yet, even with all of this, Naruto loved his life for it, or so it seemed.

There were always the instances where he would see Sakura fawning over Sasuke wherein some instances the sight of it made him sick, other than that, his team, for being his loud self would ignore him outright. But what hurt the most is when the one you most needed the attention from ignores you – the only one person who made his heart beat in a mysterious way.

Every time the jounin ignored him or brushed him off, he would feel like he was being torn into pieces. He felt like his heart was being ripped apart whenever their teacher would give more attention teaching Sasuke or Sakura, but who was Uzumaki Naruto in _his_ eyes?

Over the times, Naruto had began to slowly distance himself from their teacher, trying not to entertain his feelings but rather think of it as sign that he should just forget it. After all, the student-teacher relationship type is a taboo in society's perspective. But still, those feelings lingered on, especially during the times when the said jounin would go and treat him at Ichiraku's for their special ramen and chat about nothing in particular and laugh their heads off, or the times when they, just the two of them, would sit at the Hokage monument watching the sun go beyond the horizon till the stars came out of it's velvet blankets, enjoying the tranquility of the moment.

Thinking about those moments made his heart swell with pain. He no longer knew what he should think about or do. Thankfully, they had made it to their destination and retrieve the items in their mission making him momentarily forget his train of thought.

They had stayed overnight, courtesy of the Raikage who had offered them to stay and recuperate for their journey the next day. The Raikage had ordered his assistant to book them at a nearby five-star hotel, which was near his residence; he was also kind enough to invite them for dinner since Cloud was one of the strong and loyal allies of Konoha.

The stay at the Cloud Village would have been nice but it just made Naruto's feelings worse. He had found a note stating that they, the rest of Naruto's group would be outside training except for Sakura who was buying some local herbs from the night market and medicines for them to take home, while the jounin and his best friend were outside, training yet again. He had wondered if why they didn't bother to knock on the bathroom door to inform him instead. Was it that hard to say, '_Hey, we're going out for a while'_ or '_don't stay too long in there',_ rather than just leaving him a note? The simple action would have made a big difference. But then again, he can't blame them if they found that troublesome to do since they might have probably assumed that he would have made a fuss out of it… Just like what he was doing now.

As his thoughts trailed in one by one, fatigue had washed over him slowly like the waves that rolled softly by the shore. He didn't even hear his comrades roll in, muttering whatever it is that they had to say. All that he was aware of is that in his dreams, a soft, warm pair of arms held him close in a loving and accepting embrace that lasted to what it seemed like an eternity.

- - -

They had woken up early for a start; Sakura who was pestering and threatening him rudely waked Naruto up from his peaceful slumber. Naruto for a start looked at Sakura with a bleary eye, he asked her what was all the fuss about and the answer he got in return was a steaming lump on his head that had sent him flying directly inside the bathroom.

Naruto knew that this was not his day. The trip back to Konoha was something that Naruto would describe in a sarcastic tone as _most eventful_, since he would be scolded time and time again by Sasuke or Sakura, but he could no longer take was Kakashi doing the same thing as if it was he had let a comrade fall… By the time they had reported in the Hokage's tower he was no longer perky and decided that since his presence wasn't really _that_ necessary in front of the Godaime. So he opted to make a lame excuse that he was extremely hungry and needed to go to Ichiraku's for his daily dose, Naruto had whined by telling them that the 16-day mission without ramen from Ichiraku's was driving him insane and the grumbling protest of his stomach had added its two cents worth in making the whole lame excuse to get away from them making it even more realistic.

And so, his teammates giving in deciding that he might give the Hokage a headache if they dragged his butt down towards the Hokage's office, Naruto whooped for joy as he ran towards his favorite ramen stall. Once he had arrived at Ichiraku's, he had only ordered 2 bowls of his favorite Miso ramen; Ayame and the owner were a bit worried and surprised at Naruto's lack vigor and had asked him if he was okay. He had brushed off their worries by saying that he was tired and exhausted since he had arrived from a mission. Thankfully, they seemed to have believed that excuse. Naruto then got up and paid for his meal as he made his way back to his apartment. Little did he know that there were a pair of eyes watching him eve since they have left for the mission.

Naruto entered his apartment and dropped his bag in the corner of his bedroom as he plopped down the bed. His body was aching. The container they had retrieved from Cloud was awfully heavy and Sasuke wasn't much of help when they had protected and carried it back to Konoha. It was only two in the afternoon but his body was dead tired. He let himself drift off to a peaceful slumber not even realizing that he was not alone in his apartment.

He woke up that night around ten in the evening. Opening his eyes, he stared at the ceiling for a moment before he decided to get up and take a shower. He slowly undressed himself, placing his dirty clothes neatly in the hamper before he let himself enjoy the warm water gushing down, relieving his skin. Once he was done, he dried himself and wore a plain white shirt with the leaf symbol printed on the back and a baggy khaki shorts over his black boxers with yellow frog prints.

He then trudged in to the kitchen and made himself dinner. He had then noticed the letter that was posted on his refrigerator after he had cleaned up. Warily, he took the letter, studied it before he tore it open and read it. Its contents had shocked him, not knowing what to say or do.

_I don't think you have noticed, but I have been watching you from a distance. Don't get me wrong. I am not a perverted person stalking you or anything. I have been watching you for quite a while now, studying you and your every move. I have seen the sadness in your eyes. I have seen your pain when you are alone. _

_Your eyes hold a distant look, as if you are searching for something. Your hands reach out never knowing what you are trying to grab and hold on to. What are you looking for, Naruto? _

Naruto re-read the letter over and over again. He was nervous and he was even scared. He clutched the letter tightly in his hands. Not knowing what step he should take. He then took his jacket and darted off to the Hokage monument. It was one of the places where he can let himself breathe. It was one of the places where he can think without much worry that anyone would bother him. Like anyone did actually.

He sat there on top of the fourth's head, not even thinking in the first place nor even taking in the fact that someone _was_ watching him. Silently, he wondered why was he chosen to be the Kyuubi vessel, why him of all people. Was his life that cursed to be sealed in such a terrible fate? His mind went back to the memories of his past – a past that has never left or gave him peace.

Memories of being detested by villagers, those whispers of hate and disgust. He had often wondered why, not knowing really to whom those hateful stares and stinging words were meant for until he had reached the age of twelve where Mizuki-sensei had told him the shocking truth.

He sat there on top of the monument, thinking about his seventeen years of existence. Had he really found his purpose? Was living and keeping up in a sea of pain, hate and detestation really worth it? Was he even worth anything?

He went back home with more questions than answers. His mind was reeling in overload. He was thankful that from time-to-time, the Kyuubi inside him would somehow offer a piece of comfort for his pains. He didn't know whether or not to be thankful for such an act. But over the years, the two had grown quite fond of each other. After all, he did share his body with a demon, so it was obvious that the Kyuubi itself felt his pain, most of the time, they only had each other's comfort. Talking to the demon was no longer a fear nor was it taboo in his opinion. During one of his visits to the demon's chamber, he had come to know the real reason why Kyuubi attacked the village. And even with that knowledge which he later on found out was the truth, he didn't have the heart to detest neither the Kyuubi nor the village he had grown to love despite the pain it had given him.

Naruto then found another note, this time it was on his bedside table. It was the same kind of note, the same paper with the same eligible handwriting.

_You seem to be lost in thought Naruto. It looks like you haven't found the answers you've been looking for. Instead, more questions have made its self clear to you. You have more worries than any normal 17-year-old worry about. You have seen more pain than anyone in this village. _

_I see that you're tired from wearing that mask of yours… How long do you intend to keep it up? How long will you wear a fake smile that only mars your heart with more pain? _

_I will be near Naruto. _

Naruto didn't like the fact that there was someone watching over him. Someone who had seen through his mask and read him like an open book. He had wondered who might the person be. However, the fact itself thrilled him: anticipation, longing and at the same time, fear of the motives of what the person might have.

His heart was wrenching painfully in his chest. Naruto sat down on his bed as he ran everything in his mind. What was he supposed to do now? He didn't even notice the silent that tears rolled down the side of his face while he contemplated. Did the people around him really see him as an idiot? A dead last from the academy till now? A prankster who pulled pranks on people who never had a serious side? Were there any people who even cared? Maybe Iruka-sensei but he knew that his beloved teacher wouldn't be able to fill in the missing parts in his soul, in his heart. No one really gave a fucking damn about him. Did they?

He knew in himself that he was faking it from once in a while, his smiles hid the pains that he felt deep inside, somehow, he had mastered his own emotions and expressions denying the urge to weep and let his pain out for the world to know. Overtime, he had put up barriers around him to protect himself from all the pain the world had to give him. No one knew that behind those goofy smiles, the mischievous antics was a soul desperately searching for something that will claim him, something that would want and love him, accept him for who he is and what he is. No one knew that when he, the number one prankster of Konoha, Uzumaki Naruto would let those barriers fall and crumble down when he was in the safe confines of what he had called home.

Two weeks have passed ever since he received those letters coming from his '_watcher_'. And every single day that passed, reality seemed to have been sinking in him. True that reality bites. And it bites back painfully. He had decided to reply to one of the letters that was left in his bedroom that morning. Seeking solace and comfort from whomever the person was who seemed to have given a damn about him.

His team was doing numerous D-class missions that day. And every so often, he would cast a longing look at Kakashi. He had loved the man. He had loved him even though it was more or less like a long, winding one-way road, but still, his heart longed for simple affection coming from the silver-haired jounin. He knew that he was blindly reaching out. Trying to grab a hold on to him but to no avail.

That night, as he expected, there in the four corners of his bedroom, lying prettily on the pillow on his bed was the same stationery with the same familiar handwriting along with a spray of freesia.

With shaking hands, he had gently opened the note, his heart was beating rapidly for some reason, and there it was, the answer to his silent plea.

_Naruto, I am surprised that you want to know who I am. As much I want you know my identity, there is a price for it. I know that it sounds absurd that I tell you this, however, I want you to think it over thoroughly. The price I will be asking will go against your norms. _

_The question now is, are you willing to pay for it? Take a chance and dance with someone you hardly even know? Tale a chance and dance with destiny and fate? If you are certain that you really want to meet me, if you are willing to take a chance to take that leap of fate, then come this evening to the clearing where you have practiced you practiced your water walking at midnight._

_Do not worry, I have no intention of hurting you. All I have to offer is something that you have been longing for – what we have both been longing for…_

Naruto was thinking about the person's proposal. What was there to lose? What was there to gain? He looked at the clock on the bedside table - he had approximately 4 hours and 24 minutes to think about the whole situation. He had taken his time thinking about it. He took his shower and wore a loose black shirt and shorts. He took his jacket and took a stroll in town in order for him to help with his decision.

Walking aimlessly around the streets of Konoha, he watched the people move about in their own lives, every once in a while, he would overhear those spiteful whispers and earn those insufferable glares from some of the villagers.

Along the way, he had bumped into Hyuuga Neji. Naruto took the opportunity to talk with the Hyuuga prodigy and listen about his ramblings on fate and destiny. He noted that Neji wanted so much to change his but the curse seal on his forehead was putting and holding him in place. After 30 minutes or so, he bid the Hyuuga prodigy farewell as they went their separate ways. He went to his spot on the Hokage monument and pondered further on what he may call, 'a life changing decision'.

He knew that if he wanted something, he must do something in order to achieve it. But what if the price was too high of a risk? Would he dare and risk it anyway? So far, all he had in his life was nothing but a tub of crap and bullshit. He was living a lie.

He checked the time and realized that time flew fast. He had 30 minutes left till the said time. Would he or would he not go? He then did a checklist and weighed the pros and cons of his current situation. He then looked up the sky and watched the twinkling of the stars. Chucking out the last hints of apprehension, he jumped down and headed towards the meeting place, deciding to go ahead of schedule so he could set himself at ease even though his heart was beating rapidly.

Once there, he sat on the boulder near the waterfall. He no longer cared for whatever the price might be. The person offered him a life that was more or less a complete opposite of the hellhole that he was currently in. No longer thinking, he just stared mindlessly at the flowing water, listening to the pleasant and soothing sounds of the gurgling water and crickets that made its music in the stillness of the night, with only the light of the moon casting a calming yet peculiar glow around him.

Lost in his own world, he didn't notice the figure that was slowly made its way towards him. Watching him with caring and unfathomable eyes.

The figure in the shadows watched him solemnly, taking note of the beauty that was laid before his eyes - a beautiful soul, a beautiful heart, the beauty that was carefully kept hidden under a mask. A beauty that has been scarred, bruised and trampled on but still remained pure.

The figure walked up to him, slowly making his presence known.

Naruto didn't even turn back to take a glance at who it was. The aura of the person behind him was comforting enough to assure him that he was not to be harmed in anyway. However, what startled him more was when the person spoke for the first time, speaking his name. Naruto liked the way his name rolled off the man's tongue. One thing he was definitely certain of: it had no malice in it.

The man's voice was smooth as velvet. A deep, baritone voice that somewhat sent shivers down his spine. He stiffened when he felt a firm yet gentle grip on his shoulders. He closed his eyes when he felt the man walk and kneel right in front of him. Naruto felt the man's fingers gently brush away the strands of gold from his face as it moved to caress his cheek.

When Naruto heard his name called out again, he reluctantly opened his eyes to see for the first time the face of the man who almost knew him… The man who had read him like an open book and help him clear his mind.

The moment he opened his eyes to look at the man before him, all he knew right then was confusion and suspicion. But it was all brushed away with a warm lingering kiss on his soft lips, a kiss that made his decision final, a kiss that forged a somewhat forbidden romance. A kiss that chucked away all uncertainties out the window and made him embrace the new path that was now laid before him.

* * *

**TIMELINE: Present…**

Naruto took one last sweeping look at the village before he jumped down the monument and headed towards the gates of Konoha. He had slipped past the guards silently and made sure that he was at least a good 30 meters away and without looking back, Naruto darted into a run towards the meeting place. The place where he would permanently seal his destiny and fate…

He had arrived at a certain clearing minutes ahead of schedule before another figure appeared behind him.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting."

"Iie, I just arrived here myself." Naruto turned his heel to look at the owner of the voice. Naruto looked at him squarely in the eye, needing assurance that he had indeed made the right decision although he had already bid farewell and threw away all that was of him the moment he had stepped out the protective gates of Konoha.

"I assure you, you did the right thing." The voice was soft, it was enough assurance for Naruto, setting him at ease.

Naruto turned his head back, not wanting to let the other man see whatever emotion that might have been playing in his eyes. He then felt a firm hand gripping his shoulder as he met eye to eye with the taller man beside him. And before he knew it, soft lips covered his as he was pulled in closer in a welcoming embrace. He closed his eyes savoring the moment as he felt the other man's tongue sensually lick his lower lip asking for entrance. Naruto complied as he brushed his tongue timidly with the other, making the taller man deepen their kiss.

Warily, they broke their kiss, needing to fill their oxygen-deprived lungs as they looked deeply in each other's eyes. The taller man lovingly caressed those soft, silky smooth whiskered cheeks as he spoke in a gentle yet commanding voice,

"Let's go."

"Hai, Itachi."

- - - - - - -

**TBC?**

* * *

I need to rest these typing fingers of mine. So, for the meantime, that three letter acronym will just have to do for now (what is that question mark for?)… Cheers! 

We're you guys able to guess who his mystery watcher was even before you scrolled down till here? (wide grin)

**Authoress' Note: **Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! WTF! Did I just write that! Shucks! (bangs head on the computer table) I can't believe I made this in the span of 15 hours… Bottles of flavored tea really do have its wonders…

So? What do you guys think? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Love it? Hate it? Flames by the way are only used to roast chickens to perfection, and also, to char damn viruses that make computers crash…

Anyway, I'm sure some of you might have figured out one of my writing styles by now… I can't really figure out myself why I'm like that… (scratches head)

I was listening and will continue to listen to Grief and Sorrow by Toshiro Masuda the whole time… So you might as well expect some heart wrenching moments in this fic… If you want me to continue that is… And if you do, I'll think about it… (evil smirk) So, should I or shouldn't I?

My other fic **Façade** is still an ongoing progress… So don't worry about it… I'm having a blast writing that fic… (winks)

**Naruto:** Blue-chan! Why do you keep doing this to me?

**Blue:** Do what?

**Naruto: **This!

**Blue:** Huh? (confused)

**Naruto:** (eyebrows twitching) Argh! Never mind! It's no use questioning or arguing with you! Especially now in that sleep deprived state of mind of yours! **Read and Review** people, that is, if you want her to continue…

**- - - - - - -**

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	2. Chapter 2: Letters

**Title:** Don't Look My Way

**Author:** Blue-eyed Fox

**Warning:** Yaoi, Shounen-ai (**Male/Male romance**), OOC major… And major **sappiness** is up ahead!

**Genre:** Romance, Drama, and Angst…(sweatdrops)

**Disclaimers:** I don't own Naruto and the rest of the gang. If I did then Sakura would be dating Rock Lee after the forest of death incident.

**Authoress' Note:**

Yes! A second chapter! Yosh! I'm glad you guys liked it… However, please don't kill me since this part is going to be loaded with angst and drama and very little romance… I hope it meets your standards.

In this fic, Sasuke never left to join Orochimaru, details are inside.

I'm thankful for those who left reviews (your reactions and comments)… I'm really touched and at the same time almost got a heart-attack… (You know who you are… I'm still nervous though…(sweatdrops)) Ha-ha-ha…

By the way, this is going to be a long chapter… So bear with me! And do prepare a hell lot of Kleenex! This chapter is going to be overloaded with heart-wrenching sentiments. (**You have been warned!**)

**Summary:**

Actions speak louder than words. A tortured heart, a battered soul, everything has breaking point that not even one can prevent if not saved in time.

**Legend:**

Words in _Italics_ are mental thoughts and musings.

Words in this **_form_** are the contents of a letter. (Words highlighted with _Italics_ and **Bold**)

Words in this **form** are contents of a dream sequence.

**Important Note:**

From each character here, except for Iruka who always wakes up early for his class at the Academy and Jiraiya (spoilers), the timeline would be the same from the moment they wake-up, e.g., Tsunade wakes up at 7am and so does the other characters… Get it?

Good, now on with the story!

* * *

- - - - - - - - - 

**Chapter 2: Letters**

- - - - - - - - -

* * *

The weather that day had never been so grueling, not to mention outright depressing. It was also that day when Konoha's number one prankster, Uzumaki Naruto left the Hidden Village of Leaf.

But what was even more depressing was the shocking news that the people who knew Naruto had received…

- - - -

Tsunade woke up that morning with a heavy feeling weighing down upon her, especially on her heart. She pondered on getting out of bed or just sleep in for an hour more or so. However, she knew that she would be getting a hell of a lecture out of her brisk assistant. After more or less a mental debate, she picked the former since she didn't want to have a splitting headache in the morning.

When she got out of bed, she caught something glistening by the coffee table in the corner of her eye. She slid on a robe and walked over towards it and was surprised to see the necklace she gave to Naruto neatly laced around a white envelope. Fear and apprehension struck her heart.

_Naruto!_

With a shaking hand she removed the necklace and clutched in her hand as she slowly opened the envelope to read the neatly folded letter, waiting and fearing for the worst that has yet to arrive.

_**Tsunade-baa-chan,**_

_**By the time you read this letter, I would be long gone, far away from this spiteful village, far away from the people I used to give a damn about. **_

_**To be honest with you, I don't want to leave without saying goodbye to you personally, however, I know that you wouldn't allow me to. I know that you're truly worried about me and for my well-being and I am thankful for that. Remember the time I challenged you that I can master the Rasengan in less than two weeks? I was truly happy back then cause you treated me as a person, as someone worth wasting time on.**_

_**I'm also returning the necklace back to you. I have no interest in keeping it with me along with my dream of being the next Hokage of this village. I have already thrown away that dream. I no longer find it that interesting or worth achieving. **_

_**I have realized that this village will see me as nothing more but a demon, a monster that had made the Yondaime sacrifice his life to save the village; a monster that killed and took away the lives of their loved ones. **_

_**My sanity is just a few feet away from falling into the depths of darkness if I didn't leave this village. That, I am painfully aware of and even the destructive giant mass of fur inside me, Kyuubi, knows it.**_

_**I'm sick and tired of pretending not to see or hear anything. I'm tired of wearing my cheerful mask that hides my pain. I'm tired of crying all by myself in the confines of what I call my home in as long as I can recall. **_

_**I grew up in fear. I grew up with sadness and sorrow as my companion.**_

_**I know and I am aware that you have done everything in your power as the Hokage to try and help me. However, orders do not change people's minds. Sarutobi-ojii-chan was living proof of that. He may have had ordered a decree of not having people talk about the Kyuubi or tell me that I was its vessel. **_

_**Even with that decree, the punishment that went along side it was not enough for people to let bygones be bygones. When I was a child, I was hated immensely even until now. I was stoned or beaten up whenever I was cornered. I grew up fearing for my life, doubting people around me that I didn't know.**_

_**Leaving this damn village is the only answer I know to help the villagers and myself. It is either this or I kill myself. **_

_**Bye nee-chan, I don't think, more so, believe that we would be able to see each other anytime soon or ever. Don't go slacking off your paperwork! And don't go drinking too much sake!**_

_**Take care, I will miss you dearly for I have looked up to you and treated you like an older sister despite the 'baa-chan' thing. However, I don't think that it will remain that way forever if ever we do meet again in the future.**_

_**Sayonara, nee-chan, sayonara.**_

_**Uzumaki Naruto **_

Tears had stained her cheeks as Tsunade stood there for what seemed like forever as she stared and re-read the letter in her hand.

For minutes she stood there, thousands of thoughts running were running in her mind. Hundreds of images were flashing right in front of her eyes. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to believe. In her mind, it was just a sick joke but the necklace in her hand was telling her it wasn't. Naruto never took off the necklace.

She tightened her grip on the necklace in her right hand as she haphazardly wiped her cheeks. She immediately called for Shizune and ordered her to check Naruto's apartment and report to her immediately. She also called for a number of Chuunins on duty during that time to immediately summon the Jounin teachers, Iruka-sensei and Rookie 9 in her presence. After which, she had summoned a number of ANBU's giving them a top-priority A-class mission to search for Naruto and bring him back to Konoha, specifically to her.

**- - - - **

The pink-haired shinobi was startled awake when she heard a crash, a sound of glass being broken in her room. She sat up, kunai in hand and looked around her room only to see the picture frame of team 7 lying on the floor.

At the sight of it, she immediately felt something was amiss but couldn't put a finger on what it was. She got out of bed and walked towards the broken picture frame. Her mother had peeked in her room to ask what had happened and told her that it was just the picture frame of her team.

Her mother had approached her and looked at the object in her hands and told her something within the lines of something was about to happen, an omen of sort but quickly brushed it off telling her that it was a mere silly superstition and that she had nothing to worry about it as she left Sakura in her room so she could make breakfast.

Sakura upon hearing those words felt another jolt of unease run down her spine. She turned the frame over and saw that the cracked and broken part of the glass was over Naruto.

_Naruto…_

Sakura carefully removed the picture out of the broken frame. She then set it aside on her study table and it was only then when she noticed an envelope with a green ribbon tied on it. She picked it up and studied it before opening it to read its contents.

_**Sakura-chan,**_

_**There are things in life that do not last forever. We cannot have everything we want in life nor can we ask for the things that we know that is clearly impossible. **_

_**Sakura-chan, you are one of my best and closest female friends, you are like a sister to me, you know that don't you?** **Remember the time when we had that talk? You became my best female friend then and I was very happy and thankful. And right now, I am going to ask a favor from you, and I hope you will be able to do it. **_

_**Sakura-chan, I ask that you won't shed a single tear for me. **_

_**Be mad, be angry or pour out whatever grudge you hold against me instead of tears. Since from this point onwards, I am long gone from Konoha and will never come back. I will not go back to that place which only holds hatred towards me. **_

_**I'm sure you haven't noticed it but the village itself is a hellhole for me. Every single person – a stranger for that matter only sees me as a demon. A monster that once almost destroyed the village, a monster that took away the lives of the people they hold dear to their hearts.**_

_**You haven't noticed it since you cling too much to Sasuke's arm and never take notice of the things around you and that can become one of the reasons of your downfall. **_

_**Right now, I don't want to be mad at you for the times that you have punched or hit me. You have every reason of doing so, however, you have not have enough patience and understanding in you, which hurts me even more. **_

_**For now, all I can do is hope and pray that you could become a better ninja, a stronger one for that matter. **_

_**I don't know when or if we ever do meet again. But I'm sure that it won't be anytime soon. But if ever that time comes, I will no longer be the same Uzumaki Naruto that all of you once knew. Don't blame yourself Sakura-chan; you are not enough reason to blame and to be blamed at all for that matter. **_

_**By the way, the ribbon is for your hair. It reminded me of your eyes when I first saw it. Think of it as my last present for you. **_

_**Sayonara.**_

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

Sakura stared at the letter in her hands. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears, blocking out any sound from the outside world.

_This can't be real. This is a joke right? Yeah, this is just some prank that baka Naruto is trying to pull!_

But something inside her was telling her otherwise. She quickly got dressed and made it out of their house, not minding the steady downpour of the rain, all she had in mind was to go and check on Naruto, the green ribbon wound up in her hand. But even before she could take ten steps away from their property, a chuunin appeared before her, requesting her immediate appearance before the Hokage.

Right then, she heard something shatter deep inside her heart.

- - - -

Umino Iruka never liked waking up to a gloomy weather. It was just depressing! It sort sucked out the energy in everything. But still, he had to wake-up early so that he could prepare and go to the academy to teach the young hopeful and future Shinobis of Konoha.

As he was about to leave his apartment, he noticed that there was an envelope on the receiving area of his apartment. He stooped down and picked it up, wondering what it might be and from whom it might be from. Carefully opening the edges, he pulled out the paper and read it.

_**Iruka-sensei,**_

_**I'm sure you didn't wake up in the right side of bed this morning. You are the kind of person who never liked rainy days like this. But neither the less, I just hope that you remain the same teacher, friend and brother that I have come to know and grow up with. And I am deeply thankful for you, for accepting me. For seeing me more than just a demon vessel but as a human being with feelings and for treating me as one, I am indebted to you as a matter of fact. **_

_**Sensei, by the time you have read this, I am no longer in my apartment or anywhere in Konoha for that matter. Don't try to search for me. It will only be fruitless. **_

_**Please don't be too hard on yourself. It isn't your fault. I know you have done what you can for me; you have always been there. But we can't deny the fact that everything has its limits, its boundaries, and a line that cannot be crossed even if we want to. **_

_**Society has its way of treating people. Those who are above others treat those below them like trash and tools only to be used and manipulated for their own twisted ways. I have seen and experienced that myself. The council, the elders and those nobles, the village itself is proof of that. **_

_**I know that there would be hundreds of questions running in mind right now and the thing I can say to help you understand is that, I am tired. Tired of pretending to be happy, tired of pretending that I am okay. I'm tired of wearing my mask just to show the world that I don't give a rat's ass about what they think of me. **_

_**I've realized that wearing that mask is slowly eating me inside. Making me more vulnerable and I can't have that. I just won't allow it. **_

_**Sayonara, Iruka-sensei. Thanks for all the fond memories. Thanks for being there for the sake of being there when I needed someone to talk to. Thanks for looking out for me. I won't be able to make any promises that I'll still be the same when we meet again. I might as well become an S-rank missing-nin or something like that. Till then, just expect changes if ever we meet again. If we ever do that is…**_

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

Iruka felt his weight shift as he leaned on the wall for support then sliding down till he was seated on the floor. He was lost in his own thoughts as images of him and Naruto flashed right in front of his eyes.

The times when they would eat together at Ichiraku,

The times when he and Naruto would fool around,

The time he had graduated from the academy,

The time he had given him his forehead protector,

The times when Naruto just sat silently on top of the Hokage Monument lost in his own sea of thoughts.

It was right then that Iruka realized that Naruto was deeply hurting inside and he felt bad for not seeing right through his student, his student that he treated and loved like his own brother. He shuddered at the thought of Naruto becoming a missing-nin or even… No, he didn't even bother to think about it. He openly refused to think about it.

_Naruto-kun…_

Iruka was shook out from his stupor when he heard an urgent knock on the door of his apartment. He slowly got up and went to the door, only to be greeted by a drenched Chuunin asking his immediate presence in the Godaime Hokage-sama herself.

- - - -

He had awoken from a dream, more like a nightmare so to speak. But not of the one that had used to haunt him when he was still young. Not the one where he would come home to see the bodies of his family swimming in their own blood.

Instead, he had dreamed about his best friend and at the same time, so-called rival. Uzumaki Naruto was like a brother to him. He was the only one who was able to see the real him and melted away the ice and broke down the walls that he had painfully built around himself.

In his dream, they were waiting for their Jounin instructor at the bridge. Naruto and Sakura were talking to each other when all of a sudden their surroundings became quiet, the sunny day turned into pitch black. He looked over to where his teammates were and saw Naruto facing him with a smile, he saw that Naruto was saying something to him but couldn't hear the words before waved to him and turned his heel to walk away.

Sasuke had woken up on the part where he tried to follow and stop Naruto.

He felt uneasy about the dream. He owed Naruto his life and his sanity.

Three years ago, if it weren't for Naruto, he, Uchiha Sasuke, would have had become a missing-nin and at the same time, a traitor of leaf. Naruto was the one who had beaten some sense into his one-way track, narrow brain of his back then when he was about to join and side with Orochimaru because of his blind need for power.

He remembered how angry, sad and frustrated Naruto was. Screaming at him, punching and kicking him for all it's worth. Naruto said back then that he was going to stop him and make him see how wrong he was and how wrong his decision will be if he pursued his quest for power and revenge.

And that he did. Naruto did make him realize and had dragged his sorry ass to the hospital after he got beaten to a pulp. And from that point onward, he made it officially clear to himself that he was never alone and that power wasn't the answer for everything.

Sasuke then snapped out of his musings and got out of bed, took a shower before heading down the kitchen for breakfast. It was his usual morning routine before heading out to train or meet up with the rest of team 7 on the bridge. But what was unusual in this morning was that he found a letter, a container with five medium sized onigiri.

Sasuke stared at the kitchen table before studying his environment, checking if it was safe and if there were anything missing. Thankfully, everything was in place. He then approached the table, picking up the letter first.

He carefully tore it open as he sat down in one of the chairs of the dining table as he began to read.

_**Yo, Sasuke-teme!**_

_**Don't ask me how I got in your house. I just got in okay? **_

_**And mind you, put better locks on your house. Your fan girls might just get the strange and deluded idea to break in and from the looks of it, the locks of your house isn't that reliable. **_

Sasuke shivered at the thought and made a mental note to buy durable, high-quality, heavy-duty locks.

_**Anyway, I got some onigiri for ya! Since I know that you aren't the type who eats anything but onigiri… I swear, I don't know what you like so much about those blasted stuffed rice balls, but hey, that's the same for me about my love for ramen. Anyway, eat up! It's not poisoned you know. **_

Right then, Sasuke tore his eyes from the letter and opened the opaque container. To his surprise, he found a picture of himself, sleeping.

_**I guess you found the picture already. By the way, you look adorable when you sleep. And how do you do that? I mean, still look great while you sleep? And don't get any ideas! Don't worry, I only took one picture, I swear! I have no use for it anyway. Blackmailing you is the last thing I'd do or even consider in my list, especially now or ever. **_

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he placed the picture down before grabbing an onigiri and eat it.

_Dobe._

_**Anyway, I got in to your house, well literally broke in to your house because I wanted to leave you these (letter included) and to annoy you a little just for the sake of having fun. Anyhow, there are a few things I wanted to say before I get to the main point of everything.**_

_**Sasuke, seriously! Stop being such an uptight prick! It's like you have a 500-year-old tree shoved up your god damn fucking ass!**_

_**And I'm sorry.**_

_**I know that I have been such a pain in the ass these past six years and I would like to thank you for putting up with me and seeing me as an equal. **_

_**We've been through the good and the bad times. We know each other's deepest and darkest secrets. We've beaten up each other to a pulp, knocking a few senses of realizations in each other's heads. And furthermore, we were like and treated each other like blood brothers. And again, thanks for that. **_

_**You might be wondering why I am being so damn emotional and thanking you all of a sudden, well, to tell you the truth, I won't be able to say these things to you personally since I would be long gone by the moment you read this letter. I already left this village. **_

_**I'm sorry Sasuke. I know that I am selfish for leaving without telling any of you, especially you since you're my best friend and what seems like it, my brother, as I have stated above. But I have my own reasons for leaving. **_

_**I know that you are painfully aware of the spiteful stares that people throw my way whenever I pass by them right? And I'm sure that you are wondering why… You have asked me about that before and I just shrugged. And now, it is best that you can ask the Godaime about that… **_

_**Get stronger Sasuke. Who knows when our paths will meet again, and if it does, we can never say if we become enemies by then or not. And don't you even dare try and think of bringing my ass back in Konoha for I'd rather kill myself than take a pitiful step in that village.**_

_**Ja, sayonara…**_

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

Onigiri forgotten, Sasuke stared dumfounded at the letter in his hands.

_What the hell! That dobe has a lot of nerve just to break in and – oh god… That dream…_

Sasuke was cut off in his thought when he heard a loud knock on his door. With the letter still in his hand, he hastily went to his front door, hoping, silently praying that it was all just a practical joke that Naruto decided to play.

But his prayers weren't heard. He had found a Chuunin on his doorstep, ushering him to immediately proceed at that very moment to Tsunade's office.

Dread had run down and up his spine as he disappeared along side the Chuunin.

- - - -

Jiraiya, the perverted white-haired toad sannin had woken up to an eerie feeling of trepidation. He had been getting that odd feeling the past few days as if it was a sign that there was something big about to happen.

And indeed, something was about to shock him.

He was thinking of what to do that day when a white envelope caught his attention. Knowing him, being a pervert and all, immediately lunged the envelope and opened it up with glee, thinking that it might have been some beautiful, young, curvaceous woman sending him a love note or something.

But that glee was wiped off his face replacing it with gloom and utter disbelief when he had read the contents of the said letter.

_**Ero-sennin,**_

_**Just wanted to say thanks for accepting me, as your apprentice and I want to apologize for being rude and a major pain in the ass for making your life miserable. **_

_**Thanks for being such a great teacher even though you mix your lessons with your utter perverseness and literally, I am thankful that your lecherous ways didn't rub off on me. I don't want to see myself 35 years from now doing what you do best; you know what I mean...**_

_**Anyway, right now, I know you are wondering what your dead-last student has gotten in to for writing and leaving you a note. All I can say is that, right now, you are free from your annoying student and that I am no longer anywhere in Fire country. In other words, I am erasing myself from Konoha.**_

_**I'm quite sure that when the villagers hear about this, they would be whooping for joy since the demon that almost destroyed their village 17 years ago is finally gone. For them, I was like a walking time bomb just waiting to explode. Perhaps they were right, I am a walking time bomb. That's why I am doing them and myself a favor.**_

_**Sensei, I'm tired and fed up from hearing those angry words and curses from the villagers. I know that I shouldn't let it get to me but let's put it this way, try putting your self in my shoes and try to ignore all those angry words, those insufferable glares from the moment you start questioning your self, "What have I done to receive such extreme hatred and disgust?"**_

_**I'm tired of pretending that I'm happy with my life. I'm tired of wearing and taking off my mask every single day of my life.**_

_**I don't know if we'll ever see each other again, but I'm praying that we don't, because first of all, I don't want to return to that village and second, I don't know what face I'm going to be wearing if we ever do see each other in the future... But if we ever do meet, all I can say is that I won't be the same Naruto that everyone has come to know.**_

_**I'm sorry for not confiding to you about my problems or to any of you for that matter. It's just my selfishness. **_

_**In my existence, I have come to know that in this life, that there are people who truly understands others and those who only care about themselves. **_

_**Sensei, thanks for putting up and firmly believing in me. **_

_**Sayonara…**_

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

Jiraiya read the letter twice before doing a few hand seals as disappeared in a puff of smoke only to re-appear in Naruto's seemingly empty apartment and noticed how clean Naruto's apartment was. Calling out the name of his student and searching for him in every room, part of the reality had finally sunk in as he quickly made his way to Tsunade to confirm yet of his worst fear.

Arriving at the Hokage Tower moments after Tsunade had dished out orders.

"Tsunade! Naruto, he…" Jiraiya paused in mid sentence when he saw the disheartened look in Tsunade's face.

"Jiraiya…"

The toad sannin's name was the only thing she could muster to say as she handed him the letter that Naruto left her.

After reading the letter, he handed Tsunade the letter that Naruto left him.

"He's experienced so much pain at such a young age." Jiraiya said as he helped Tsunade to walk to the couch. Tsunade only held on to the necklace tighter hoping that Naruto haven't gone that far yet and that he would return to them.

- - - -

For a start, Hatake Kakashi, the infamous Copy-Nin or Sharingan Kakashi woke up early that day. Weird though since he and his team didn't have any particularly important or specific mission that day and their meeting time isn't till 9am.

But what had woken him up early that day was because of a dream - a dream about a certain blue-eyed blonde that he had secretly harbored feelings for in the past five and a half years.

The Jounin was panting heavily; cold sweat was running down his temples and down his back when he abruptly sat up. His heart, for some reason, was twisting inside his chest painfully. Catching his breath, Kakashi closed his eyes as he remembered the dream that he just had.

**Naruto was standing there at his side at the Hokage Monument. They were watching the horizon along with the sunset. He was standing very close to the boy when he felt his hand being held. He looked at Naruto, surprised when cerulean eyes met with his. But there was something in those deep blue pools that held him. It was sadness and longing.**

**Ha had opened his mouth to say something that moment but was cut off when everything in their surroundings turned pitch black. When he had turned his head back at Naruto, he saw that he was crying and had his hand stretched out to him. He had tried to grab hold of it but as he reached out, Naruto seemed to have been pulled away from him.**

**He called out to Naruto who still had his hand stretched out, reaching for him.**

**At that moment, he had seen a pair of arms wound itself around Naruto, pulling him in an embrace as a figure gradually appeared behind the boy, showing the owner of those arms. He wasn't able to see the face of the person behind Naruto. The only thing he could clearly point out was the black cloak that was dancing along with the invincible wind that played along in the nothingness.**

**The cloaked figure had lowered its head alongside Naruto's ear whispering words that seemed to have Naruto entranced. He saw that Naruto was slowly being pulled into the darkness of the abyss as the figure kissed Naruto fully on the lips.**

He had awoken that very instant. The only thing he remembered from the unknown figure in his dream was the black cloak…printed with red clouds. And that cloak belonged to an infamous group of missing-nins, the Akatsuki.

He knew that the Akatsuki was after Naruto because of the Kyuubi no Youko that was sealed inside him, however, Naruto being calmly taken away and the same time being kissed was something that had greatly set him into unease.

He lay back down in bed trying to figure out the dream and at the same time, muse about the blue-eyed blonde.

He thought about the first time he had met the boy. It was the first time he had met with his team. He instantly fell in love with the boy, even though he knew it was wrong, he couldn't help his feelings. Those crystal blue eyes, the shiny, unkempt mop of golden blonde strands that played with the wind, the tanned skin and those soft whiskered cheeks.

In every mission they had, whenever the boy slept, he would be awake and watch him sleep. It somehow made all his worries go away just seeing the innocence lying down right next to him.

But simple things in life also had to change along with time.

Recently, he had noticed the distance of the boy towards him and to the rest of the team. Genuinely, he was sad and angry: sad, because Naruto seemed to be isolating himself, angry, because he couldn't figure out what to do about it.

He was upset when Naruto was aloof towards him and his caring-and-worried-teacher advances. Usually, when he said that he would treat Naruto for ramen, the boy would automatically cling on to him for dear life. But now, Naruto would just brush it off, taking a rain check on their so-called 'date' saying that he had to do something important.

All this time, he had wanted to reach out to Naruto. He had badly wanted to hold the boy in his arms and tell him how much he loved him. But he couldn't since he had too much things to think about, or just to plainly put it: he was too much of a coward to do so.

Sighing in defeat, Kakashi got out of bed since there was no use going back to sleep. He went to freshen up and have breakfast, which consisted only of toast, a couple of fruits and orange juice.

He then noticed a white envelope and a small package lying on top of the side table where he placed his house keys.

What the… How did this end up here? 

He picked up the letter and saw his name nicely written in Kanji leaving the package to be opened for later. He had no idea why his heart was beating faster or the fact why his insides were twisting. He opened the letter and began to read.

_**Kakashi-sensei, **_

_**I hope you're not too lazy to read this for this will be the first and last letter you will be getting from me. Sensei, I am writing to you because I just wanted to apologize, say goodbye and thank you.**_

_**I apologize for my annoying behavior and for the times that I have disappointed you. I only wanted to impress you so that I can mean something to you as a student, as a person. I wanted to be something, someone in your eyes, not that loud and obnoxious trouble making, demon brat that everyone in the village has come to know. **_

_**When I first met you, I had hoped that you would be different. Different in a way that you would see us, team 7, as individuals with different specialties - and that you did. However, you only saw Sasuke and Sakura. And that fact hurt me like hell. Sasuke was your prized student and Ion the other hand, was nothing but another student… It seems stupid to be jealous over it but that's just the way I feel.**_

_**I did my best and gave all and everything that I can just to show you that I am worth something. **_

_**But as it seems, it's just not enough.**_

_**I want to thank you however for teaching us the value of not leaving our comrades at the battlefield. And I also want to thank you for trusting us, for believing in us during the Chuunin selection exams.**_

_**Along with this, I would like to say goodbye. Goodbye, since from this moment, Uzumaki Naruto is no longer a part of team 7 or a student of Hatake Kakashi for that matter. From this moment, I am no longer anywhere near in Konohagakure no Sato.**_

_**Sensei, I don't know how to tell you this, but for the longest time ever, I have loved you. Yes, I, the great Uzumaki Naruto who once said that I was going to be the next Hokage, fell in love with his own teacher, YOU! You sorry excuse for a perverted, Jounin teacher! I don't know what I saw in you that made me fall for you but I have no regrets of ever meeting you or falling in love in with you!**_

**_Ever since that day on our first C-class mission to assist Tazuna-san, I realized that I have fallen for you. I tried to fight it, tried to think of ways to just forget you… I did what I can to stop myself from falling but every time I did, I always ended up falling harder._ **

_**Remember the time when you handed us our applications for the Chuunin exam, and I jumped on you and started saying how much I love you back then? I have meant every word, though the jumping part was unexpected of me. I didn't realize that I hugged you back then until I got home. **_

_**Right now, you might think that I'm stupid or even crazy out of my mind, but I don't care. In fact, I don't give a shit of what others might think if they heard me screaming my heart out. I don't really care about that now anymore, but to be honest, I'm scared of admitting it to you. You are or should I say, you were after all my teacher. **_

_**Don't bother about what to say or think or what to do the next time you meet up with team 7 since, as I've said, I won't be there. I'm not certain if our paths will cross again, but if that day comes, the only thing I can assure you is that I am no longer the same Naruto that all of you has come to know. I will become neither a friend nor comrade of Konoha.**_

_**All that I am certain of as well is that I will forget you… My feelings for you… I will get over these feelings that I've felt over the years and move on with my life…**_

_**Sayonara, Hatake Kakashi… Sayonara…**_

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

Kakashi was frozen on the spot… Realization had hit him like waves thundering painfully over the shore.

_It can't be… No… Naruto couldn't possibly leave… He just can't…_

His student, the love of his life felt the same for him.

His student, the love of his life was leaving, more so, has left Konoha.

Has left him…

Kakashi stood there for what it seemed like eternity. He felt like being splashed by a bucket of ice-cold water, waking him up from the painful realizations that he had just discovered.

Right then, a knock resounded through the hollowness of the room.

Shuffling to the door, he was met by Chuunin who had told him to come with him immediately as the Godaime Hokage requests their audience at the Hokage Tower.

From that very moment, he knew that Naruto had indeed left him.

_Naruto…_

The silver-haired jounin wasted no time as he disappeared in a clod of smoke along with the Chuunin.

- - - -

Naruto had eventually sent all of them a letter and that was evident in the varied display of emotions clearly written and stated in their eyes and faces.

"Hokage-sama! Is this true!"

"We're not yet certain Iruka-sensei. His apartment was empty when Shizune went there." Tsunade stated, her hands clasped together, her eyes and features laced with worry.

"His apartment was clean, yet all of his clothes and belongings were still there." Shizune added.

"I've already sent out a couple of ANBU's to look for him. According to those who were on duty, they didn't see anyone enter or leave the gates of Konoha this morning nor did anyone see Naruto approaching the tower."

"So that could mean that he could be anywhere at this moment!"

"Kiba, calm down." Kurenai-sensei placed a hand on her student's shoulder.

"Hokage-sama, in my letter, Naruto had mentioned about the village seeing him as a monster… Hokage-sama, what did he mean by saying that…" Sakura looked at the Hokage with questioning eyes.

Tsunade looked up from her hands at Sakura before turning to the white-haired sannin who was leaning against the wall behind her. He gave her an approving nod. It was about time anyway that they knew about Naruto and him being the Kyuubi's vessel.

"All of you know the story about how the village was attacked by the Kyuubi no Youko, don't you?" Tsunade started as she began to narrate. All of them nodded except for the Jounin teachers and Iruka, waiting for her to continue, wondering what the nine-tailed demon fox had to do with Naruto.

"In your generation, it was told in a different manner. True that the Yondaime died in order to save the village but he didn't outright kill the nine-tailed fox. He sealed it. Do you know when Naruto's birthday is?"

"October 10." Sakura replied.

"And what else is celebrated on that day?" Tsunade inquired further.

The Jounin teachers and Iruka silently prayed that their student's hearts and minds would not be clouded after this like as to those of the villagers.

"The Kyuubi no Youko's…" Neji started but didn't finish as realization hit all of them.

"Hokage-sama, are telling us that the Kyuubi was sealed in Naruto-kun!" Lee exclaimed.

"Yes Lee, you are correct. Your generation was taught to believe that the Yondaime died while killing the demon fox, whereas in truth, he died giving up his life in order to seal the demon inside a baby boy. And that baby boy was Naruto. The Sandaime made a decree back then that the truth will be spoken of freely and not to be told to Naruto. Those who did otherwise were to be punished accordingly.

"But that decree was not enough. Some of the elders and those who were victims of the Kyuubi's rampage back then still hold a grudge and whenever they see Naruto, they prefer him dead." Tsunade grimaced on the last word.

"They didn't see Naruto as a vessel, a hero who helped save this village. They saw him as the demon itself, therefore, as he was growing up, the village loathed and despised him for what he is." Jiraiya added, his eyes hidden behind his hair.

"All of us thought that he was just another trouble making prankster. But what we didn't see is that he was just seeking a different kind of attention far away from the ones he grew up with." Iruka said in a sad voice.

"Naruto had been wearing a mask all this time just to hide his pain. All these years, all he wanted was to become a strong Shinobi who fought for Konoha. He trained hard and worked even harder so that the people around him can see.

He dreamed of becoming a Hokage, that was his main goal in life so he can do what he loved most, to protect this village, become a good leader and surpass all the former Hokage's. However, everything has its limits. And Naruto had reached his." Jiraiya brought a hand to massage his temples.

"He's only seventeen but he has went through more pain and suffering than all of us here can ever imagine. He grew up without parents, not even knowing who they were, then there were the villagers who treated him like scum. For what I know, as child he was mobbed and beaten up. Growing up for him was virtually like hell, having to wake up every single day, expecting the worst to come." Tsunade didn't realize it but tears were rolling down her cheeks.

All of Rookie 9 was silent. The girls were weeping, the boys had their eyes downcast whilst shaking in both anger because they were so blind to see and shame because they never knew what their friend had been going through. They had been too blind to see behind his cheerful, not-a-care-in-the-world mask.

The teachers too and Iruka were taken aback with the Hokage's last piece of information. They felt their insides twisting badly.

Kakashi for that matter had his head bowed low, his nails digging in painfully in the soft flesh of his palm drawing out small droplets of blood. He wanted to get out of the room, go somewhere and vent all his pent up emotions, his frustrations, anger, disappointment, sorrow and sadness. But he couldn't, he can't for that moment for that moment itself was fate's cruel and harsh punishment.

Reality had hit them that moment. And reality bites back rather painfully than expected.

Everything was lost from that moment. Everything, all hopes and dreams, had gone down along with the rain.

**

* * *

****- - - - - - - - - - -****TBC (?)**

**- - - - - - - - - - -

* * *

**

That question mark will symbolize my inner debate whether or not I should continue… So for now, TBC will do…

I've been listening to too much sentimental music off the Naruto OST's… This chapter really had me crying. I was trying to visualize and feel the emotions of each of the characters and I happen to over do it… (sweatdrops)

**Authoress' Note:**

How did those letters end up inside their places? Well, Naruto IS a ninja isn't he? So let's just say that because of what was and had happened to him, he is able to get inside their private spaces and leave the letters for each and every one of them.

I told you that this was going to be a long chapter! Oh, and did you notice? Kakashi's part, musings and all, is longer than most… (Smiles)

Anyway, what do you think? **Love it? Hate it? Tell me! Leave me a review!** And do take in mind that FLAMES are only used to roast chickens to perfection… (Smiles)

Sorry for the errors if there are any since my beta-reader is still hibernating…

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**Blue:** (in her own musings) Gah! Kill me now! I don't want to do any more classroom observations!

**Naruto:** Anou, Blue-chan, why am I suddenly some sort of burglar breaking in to their houses just leave them goodbyes and a love letter?

**Blue:** (stops from her personal musings) Huh? Oh! It is raining in Konoha… And I want them to instantly see your letters by the time they get out of bed. So stop complaining…

**Itachi:** Ne, Blue-chan! (Whiny voice) Is this the last chapter?

**Naruto: **Is this it?

**Blue:** Huh? (Blink) (Blink)

**Kakashi: **Why do you keep doing that?

**Naruto:** I think she's sleepy…

**Blue: **Zzz….

**Kakashi: **Read and review people!

**Naruto:** Is there a next chapter?

**Itachi:** Probably… God knows… Just **read and review** people!

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	3. Chapter 3: Nostalgia

**- - - - - - - - -**

**Chapter 3: Nostalgia **

**- - - - - - - - -**

The silence within the four corners of the Hokage's office was nothing more compared to the eerie silence of a graveyard. Not even the silent sobs and neither cries of the women nor the soft pitter-patter of the rain on the cold earth could break through the grim ambiance that lingered within the air.

Not even a single soul moved nor uttered a single word to cut through the deafening silence of the room. The occupants of the room were mourning for a loss that never was.

Even when the ANBU that Godaime Hokage-sama sent to search for Naruto returned to deliver their report, the peculiar graveness lingered on. The ANBU had returned empty handed, not even a sign or clue of Naruto was left behind.

Naruto had indeed left them. He had left Konoha with the unspoken words of never to return and stay.

**- - - - -**

One by one, the people who occupied the room left with a heavy heart. Despair was the only thing that was left hanging in the air. In the midst of all the chaos and darkness, one heart was left breaking into pieces.

Kakashi returned to the solitary confines of his so-called home. What was the thing called 'home' anyway? A home was not a house that you return to after a long day's work. A home is something that you look forward to return to… But in his, it was just a piece of roof over his head. Lost in a sea of thoughts, he wondered vaguely of 'what if' and 'what could have been'. True, he wouldn't deny that he deliberately ignored Naruto thinking that it was for the best, but really…was it?

The jounin then remembered the small box that came along with his letter. Recalling where he placed it, he quickly searched for it and found it sitting on top of the side table near the door… As he opened the parcel and saw what it kept, he fell down on his knees as tears fell down uncontrollably from his eyes. For the first time in his life, he wept like he never did in his life.

**- - - - -**

Four years had passed since Naruto had left Konohagakure no Sato. Four years time was spent looking for signs of Naruto's whereabouts and still none. Just like Naruto had said, looking for him would be fruitless.

Godaime Hokage-sama was clinging to what little hope that was left in her heart. Bitterness as it seems was seeping through her heart, tainting it. Even though she knew that it was entirely wrong for her, especially in her position as leader of the village, she was beginning to despise and loathe Konoha as a whole.

Konoha, the village she once loved, the village where the dreams and hopes of those she kept dear to her was starting to become her own reason to turn her back against it. She remembered the day when Naruto had left the village. The team of ANBU she had sent to look for Naruto came back empty handed.

Ever since then, rookie 9, the jounin teachers and a few shinobis who were close to the boy volunteered to search for him.

**- - - - -**

"_Has it been four years?" _A man with silver locks sat at the Hokage Monument facing the village, thinking of how long has it been. Of how many days he had searched, on how many sleepless nights he had spent thinking about the blonde shinobi who had left their village.

Every single day, the said man hoped and prayed endlessly, if possible, every minute of the day, every hour of the week. He hoped and prayed that he would see the blonde shinobi again and hold him in his arms and never let him go. Not ever.

"Captain," a man in ANBU mask appeared before him. "Godaime Hokage-sama wishes to see you in her office."

The silver haired man nodded at his subordinate, "I shall be right in." And with that, the subordinate disappeared in a blink of an eye.

- - - - -

"Tsunade-hime, it's foolish that you continue searching for that reckless boy!" one of the lords of the Fire country spoke.

"I agree. It's like ridding ourselves of the pebble in our shoes." One of the village representatives spoke up.

"It will be better, Tsunade-Hokage-sama, if you stop looking for that _monster_ of a-"

"SILENCE!" Tsunade snapped upon hearing the word 'monster' to describe Naruto. The shrill sound of her voice seemed to have echoed throughout the building and beyond. Those who knew the tone of that voice instantly knew that there was no way in all seven hells could they escape the slug sannin's wrath if they as push further.

"YOU! ALL OF YOU! ALL OF YOU HAVE NO _**FUCKING**_ RIGHT TO CALL THAT BOY A MONSTER!" Everyone looked at her in shock. None of them had ever imagined such words coming out of a Hokage. Only Shizune and a handful of people who were present in that room that knew Naruto by heart can't blame her for her sudden outburst. In fact, they couldn't agree more on what Tsunade said.

"If not for that boy, this village would have been nothing but ash being blown away by the wind 17 years ago!" Tsunade fixed a defiant stare at each one of them.

"He may have the nine-tailed demon inside of him but that doesn't make him a monster itself. He's only a vessel! A container! What is so vague about that! If you people see him, as is – a monster, then you have no right to even be alive right now! All of you are insolent fools if you think of him that way! In fact, all of you, this village, and the people who mistreated the boy are the ones that should be called a monster!"

The nobles, the village elders, including some of the village representatives looked scandalized.

"Godaime Hokage-sama! You have no right to call us –"

"What? A monster?" Tsunade huffed as she stood from her chair. The burning repugnance in her eyes and the solemn look on her face was enough for those who were present to hold their tongues and send them cowering back to the safety of their homes.

"You people might as well consider looking for a new Hokage if you insist that my decisions are insignificant and not worth the effort for the welfare of Konoha."

"Why do you insist Hokage-sama? It has been four years since his disappearance." One of the council members asked in defiance.

The Hokage remained silent. Words were not enough to explain the importance of that blonde brat. In fact, no one can. It took more than words to express what the blonde meant and those who have encountered the blonde in a more personal experience could only agree.

The Hokage stared at the blank space of the table as one of the most understanding and reliable of the council spoke for her—Hyuuga Hiashi.

"Some of you may not know and may never will understand how important that boy is. He is a treasure that this village has ignorantly scorned and hated. Have you not even given it a thought that Uzumaki Naruto never had a choice right from the very beginning? Have you not given it even the slightest consideration that Uzumaki Naruto is only human? I have seen what the boy has gone through and I myself feel ashamed deep down to the core that I have done nothing in my power to help the poor soul.

"Have you not given it any thought he could have been any person's child? Have you not considered yourselves lucky enough that it wasn't one of your children chosen to become the vessel to contain the rampaging Kyuubi no Kitsune 17 years ago? The vessel could have been anyone's child. But no, Uzumaki Naruto became the jinchuuriki. And he had no say it in whatsoever, yet you openly scorn and despise him as if he was some sort of plague. If you continue to think that way, then you have no right to live. You have no right to be alive at this very moment as you try to justify your twisted and selfish reasons because of your guilt, sorrow and hate, by which all is blinded by the shadows of the past."

Everyone fell completely silent. None of them had realized before about the truth in the words of what Hyuuga Hiashi had said.

"The search for Uzumaki Naruto shall continue and that is _**final**_." Tsunade said, leaving no more room for any argument as she stood up and left the room.

**- - - - -**

"Kakashi, tomorrow before dawn, four more teams together with yours shall depart. Your objective is to search and scout for any clue on Naruto's whereabouts. If by any chance that you see him, bring him back Kakashi. Bring him back, drag his ass back here to Konoha whether he likes it or not. Bind him, tie him to a log or something, anything just as long that you bring him back here alive, you have my permission." Kakashi nodded in understanding. He was waiting to be dismissed by the Hokage when he noticed how stressed she looked.

"Hokage-sama, allow me to be frank, but you should take it easy. You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I could say the same to you Kakashi. The only thing that may be visible from your face is that right eye of your but the fatigue in your body is quite evident as well."

"What do you mean Hokage-sama?" The copycat stiffened, trying hard to hide his unease under those penetrating gaze.

"Stop lying to yourself Kakashi, you know very well what I mean." Tsunade sighed as she leaned back to her chair and turned to look out the window. "You haven't been getting any decent sleep yourself." Tsunade took a sip of her sake and sighed yet again. "Everyone who knew Naruto has been carrying so much guilt around their shoulders. Most especially you Kakashi, somehow, deep down inside you have more than enough regrets that you want to make up to Naruto. There's no denying that fact since you have been wearing yourself out much to my dislike."

Upon hearing those words, Kakashi relaxed a little, his eyes downcast as he continued to listen to the Hokage.

"Be honest with me Kakashi, what drives you?" Tsunade asked as she eyed the silver-haired jounin in front of her. Kakashi was silent for a moment, trying to identify with himself with the Hokage's words, yet still, he could not bring himself to speak what was on his mind.

"Kakashi, have a seat."

And the jounin sat down in one of the chairs in front of the Hokage.

"Just what is Naruto to you anyway?" Tsunade asked. She knew that the jounin in front of her favored the Uchiha but seeing Kakashi in such a state made her think that there was something more than meets the eye. Something was there yet she couldn't quite place a finger on it.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she collected her thoughts.

"It's ironic how we remember the most precious of moments, every whispered word as if it was yesterday. We struggle as hard as we can while we try to hold on to it, yet it slips through our fingers like the sands of time. Every physical contact, the touch of the skin somehow stirs life from its deepest slumber within our souls, like a love song that has been never heard.

"When I look back at every memory that has helped mold the way I am today, I must say that most of it were downright painful. Yet what hurts me the most is that even with my power as the Hokage, I could not even save and help the one I have grown so fond of and considered my own kin."

Kakashi can relate to the Godaime. He too has lost those was important in his life.

"So ask you this again Kakashi. What drives you? What pushes you to such extent that you even volunteered beforehand to search for Naruto." It was more than just a questioning statement thrown at Kakashi's court. Still eyes downcast, he absentmindedly brought a hand to his left wrist and felt his heart skip a beat.

"_Naruto,"_ Kakashi thought as he closed his eyes. He pushed back the cloth that covered his wrist as he undid something. _"Tsunade-sama has all the right to know. It will be no use just keeping it to myself."_

Kakashi looked up and handed Tsunade what he considered the most delicate part of his heart—the only memory he had of Naruto before he left Konoha...

"That is what drives me Tsunade-sama. Naruto gave that to me along with the letter on the day that he left. I cannot afford to lose again the person who gave that to me. If I lose him, I lose myself. I will never forgive myself if I never find him."

Tsunade looked at Kakashi intently before looking what he had handed to show her.

It was a platinum ID bracelet. She studied on her palm, taking into mind the intricate interwoven design of the chain that linked it to another, it was only then when her eyes widened as her breath hitched when she turned over the band that held something which made her truly understand the feelings that Kakashi harbored.

"I love him Hokage-sama and I never got the chance to tell him. I love him so much that it hurts. It hurts not to be able to tell him, especially now that he's missing. It hurts so much that I was so foolish not to fuck the consequences and tell Naruto before what I felt." Kakashi held back the tears but he could not bring the shaking of his body to stop as his fingers dug into the soft flesh of his palm drawing out small drops of blood, proving the pain and turmoil that plagued him for four years.

Tsunade could only give so much empathy and sympathy. Everything was so clear to her now, both loved each other but life was too cruel. Both were not given a chance to tell each other in much better circumstances, what they felt for each other. She eyed the bracelet once again and took in to mind the delicate cursive engraving before standing up and placing it into Kakashi's cold and trembling hand…

_- Kakashi x Naruto -_

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**- TBC -**

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**Authoress' Note:**

Thanks for reading the lengthy chapter 2; I know it was kind of dragging and redundant… (I think…)

It's difficult to make this chapter; I had to rekindle that sad and nostalgic feeling from before in order to make this connect this one with the previous chapters. Do you think I should end it there? Because that could make a good ending don't you think?

As much as I want to make it longer, I can't. My muse has taken a liking in sleeping. And I might make two versions for the ending for this story for those Kakashi/Naruto and Itachi/Naruto lovers out there. Until then!

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